Apparently, we all have seemed to have found love, the feeling we may never be able to express in the near coming future. We also have the category or a pool of singles just aiming to get out of that pool at any chance they get. And the singles who say they don’t want to be in a relationship or are afraid of committment are not only a bit coward, but you will find them dating people in the next six months, hypocrisy at its best, I tell you. After-all singlehood is only a phase, and who doesn’t want an ‘out’ from phases. Relationships are like building blocks towards even attaining the idea of being in love, and one small miscommunication and all the building blocks you have built together start with a crack and end up shattered. People will often tell you that ‘hey, its fine, you’ll get over it,’ you must ask the same person to build some blocks so that you can break it for them, maybe then they will stop. Of course, seeing those buildings fall apart makes you cry at night, as hard work didn’t pay off… did it?
But, that doesn’t mean being in a relationship is a risk you should not take, but yes a long distance relationship…never!
1.) It’s like an elastic string, can’t pull it much.
Well, that’s how people like to call it, you see, whenever a person says long distance, there is already a string with a particular kind of length in it, length is just a number (or kilometers if I should say), but the string’s something you’re dependent on. You cannot travel on it, you can’t rely on it but yourself… and, thus you need to change. Being a bit patient always helps in overcoming the fact that your loved one is somewhere far from you. In such cases involving strings, you cannot put much pressure on the other, cause you see on the other end she is holding that string, and even the tiniest bit of pressure and the string will stretch, and slowly but steadily, it will perish and you won’t be able to help it.
2.) Misunderstandings or should I say Miscommunication?
It doesn’t bring such surprise when I talk about misunderstandings, as sometimes it feels so gravely attached to me. The ‘mis’ in other’s understanding of me never leaves, just like any other companion. Now every relationship’s core part is its problems, its what holds them together until they fall apart obviously. Without a misunderstanding, you cannot grow they say, like it’s a stepping stone. Well, like every drop makes a sea; similarly, one misunderstanding leads to another and then the pile stocks up. But you can’t avoid them, can you?
In a long-distance relationship, if someone misreads you, you’re guilty as charged. And in the case you don’t really have that strong an alibi, even the kisses are just stuck on some network waiting to be delivered, and there you go….you failed. Here all you have is your voices to vouch for. You try to shout and your the ‘rude guy,’ try to explain why you’re not the ‘bad guy’ and fail, it’s just amazing sometimes how you can’t express the truth without your bodies next to each other, how you could have just held her hand and whoosh problems-gone.
3.) You’re not there.
The truth so bitter right and what can you do. Umm, the usual: nothing. Remember when you were all excited to try the distance love, your excitement ruled out this truth. As you see your presence, is also how you can express better, but when you’re absent in class, even the teacher loses the notice of you. And, just like that, you’re off the hook. The dates have now come down to face time, from endless conversations in the coffee house. If you could be any more concerned, you will be referred to as the ‘possessive-guy/girl.’ If you’d ask him/her where s/he is, you might be judged as a person who does not trust his love. Now you see why your absence does matter to her, and without your presence, you’re just talking tom.
4.) If you keep them waiting, then God can only help you.
Like I said, keeping the patience, always helps in the long run. Until one fine night, when you can’t keep it anymore, cause just like everyone your patience has some standards, some egoistic protocols even you cannot violate. Even patience has its limits you know, and thus, if you were not on time, you were not there. In a relationship, everything needs an explanation; you cannot keep them hiding. Even if you’re just sipping on your coffee doing your assignment due midnight and was busy enough not to take calls, then that should be fine. ( In some that cases, that also is a problem). Apparently, dating has become about the time, the more time you give is directly proportional to the amount of attention you’re giving her, the days of moments, the days of small kisses on foreheads have just become history.
5.)You will get hurt real bad.
Heartbreaks can be severe, but when you’re out there somewhere far waiting thinking about how you could surprise him/her on him/her birthday, how you could make everything perfect, how life could have been much more simpler if you had been just there, but now you cannot. You see anything could not be perfect; if that was the case, then people would never evolve and change (yes, people change, deal with it). So now, imagine your partner breaking it down to you that s/he has better options to be with other people. They don’t have a clue about what you had in mind, how you had already planned to go to every one of your classes just so that you can spare a few more days to be with them. And, s/he gives you the truth so bitter, that you think it’s a bad dream until you come to your senses. Guess that’s the part where you start questioning yourself, where you are just numb thinking all it took was one second to destroy everything you had.
6.) Let me just sum it for you.
Long distance relationships are a bad relatable case of Expectations vs Reality, you’ll never see it coming until after some time. It’s a war where you’re fighting with yourself with what you need to say vs. what you are going to say because at the end you see you both are stepping up the stones, but not in the same fashion. One time you’re the bad guy, so she takes two steps down and the next is her turn to make you take the steps down. That is why even though you knew you were on the same page, you were scared to confront them. When you thought that you wanted to be each other’s heartbeat and yet there you are too late. You missed the train, bud. About time, you realize that your ticket was just pointing towards her like the north of a compass, now the direction has changed. Even if you wanted, the north is not coming back to the same place.
And thus, in your next relationship, be on time, be upfront when you’re at the stage of sharing everything. Your fears about how s/he would think about some things if you told them the truth instead of letting your another face to take the blame, don’t do it your way this time. Appreciate him/her with some flowers every weekend cause you know you don’t want another heartbreak, it has taken too much. And, don’t go away from your partner, not this time kiddo!